Concerning Racism

Now...this whole racism issue right now is getting out of control. No one seems to know anymore what is racist and what is not! So let me explain it to you in my own little quirky way. Well angry way.

Does an old, ex professional footballer (Alan Hansen) saying 'They have some coloured boys in their team' constitute racism? FUCK NO. If he had said 'They have some niggers in their team' then yes, that would be totally racist.

Does Frankie Boyle saying nigger on TV constitute racism? FUCK NO. Just look at the context he used it in. He was taking the piss out of the way the news is reported. Whoever actually complained about that to Offcom or Channel 4 should grow up. I mean, who are these people who sit and watch an entire programme and then complain about said programme. If you don't like what you're seeing then CHANGE THE FUCKING CHANNEL. You have over 1000 bastard channels and you choose to sit and watch the one thing on TV at that point in time that is going to offend you. Grow up, fuck off, learn how the remote control works and watch something that you will actually enjoy...and if there is nothing on that you will enjoy then please, by all means, feel free to imitate Gary Speed.

Does a black politician tweeting 'White people love to divide and conquer', or whatever the daft mare said, constitute racism...again FUCK NO. Although in regards to this one I do wonder what would happen if a white person had said that about black people. Hmmmm interesting indeed. I would think that would be ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL over the papers. This women, however, got a small article in the bottom left hand corner of page three. And she didn't even get her tits out! Shocking.

Does a current footballer, captain, thug, romancer of best friends wife, seller of illegal tickets to games, seller of illegal tickets to training sessions, abuser of 9/11 victims families...my god the list goes on doesn't it Mr Terry. Does Mr Terry calling Mr Ferdinand 'a fucking black cunt', or as the papers always put it 'a f***ing black c**t' (as if we don't know what that is meant to say) constitute racism...ermmm FUCK YEAH IT DOES. I hope they find you guilty and lock you in Brixton Prison. Then we shall see how brave you really are.

As you can see, all of my 4 readers, there is a clear and distinct difference between the first three candidates for 'racist of the year' and the last one. The first three examples are of someone saying 'coloured' instead of 'black', someone saying the word 'Nigger' in a satirical sketch about the news, the way it is presented and the use of language the news reporters use and a politician venting her thoughts via a tweet. None of the above said anything derogatory towards black people. None of the above aimed abuse at black people. They simply said a comment, a joke and a tweet respectively. As for the last candidate for racist of the year...well...what can you say really. He is a clear favourite for this award. The remark he said was clearly racist. It was aimed at a black man (well Caramac coloured...oh a new contender for racist of the year...ME) and it was said with venom and hatred in his voice. Now people...THAT is a racist comment. THAT is a man who clearly lacks any form of intelligence and THAT as they say is THAT.

I hope this little guide to racist comments helps you along the way to being a better person. For more 'Being a Better Person' information sign up now to our NEW weekly Better Person magazine. Next weeks addition is about the Politically Correct movement. They travel to Personchester and see a football match and also take in the music of Personfred Person.

On the next edition of Robservations I will be laying into Lewis Hamilton, Madonna and the entire cast of the one man show 'I think I found a Testicle'.

Until next time ladles and jellyspoons...